I had this conversation with him about girls and he seems paralyzed by his own fears when it comes to women. There are women he knows that he would like to ask out but he gets so nervous and intimated by them and their beauty. I’ve seen these girls and they aren’t too bad. He has good tastes.

I was once him a long time ago. I think many guys were or are. We’d get nervous, couldn’t speak much less carry a conversation even if we had a date, and the concept of rejection by a pretty girl was just too much.

I try my best to encourage him but I think that this is something that he’ll have to figure out on his own.  He is a prisoner of his own mind and his possibilities are limited by his fears.

I think in situations such as these, he should do what I call an “inventory check”. Basically, do a t-chart. One column has him in it and the other column has the girl in it. And then start listing all the great qualities that he has going for himself. Any good confident man should be able to list 5-10 qualities about himself.

And then he should list all the qualities that he sees in the girl that he’s interested in. If he barely knows anything about her, then suffice to say, that he can only think of several.

It doesn’t take a mathmetician to figure out that his list of qualities outweighs her lists at this point. This should provide enough of a confidence boosts to him to see that he has alot going for himself and should approach her like that. I think most guys tend to do well with the girl after a few dates are under their belt but it’s the initial approach that scares alot of guys. So much of it is what is in our head. ‘It’s all mental’, is a favorite saying of mine. I was thinking that this t-charting is a little psychological trick that could possibly work for some guys who need that push in the beginning.

People are just people and that goes for pretty women too. They have their little insecurities and issues like the rest of us do. I don’t see a need for any of us to put other people on a pedestal. People are just people.

Now how often do I hear those words come out of a guy’s mouth at typical social events like a happy hour when they find that the ratio of guys to girls is unevenly distributed.

Till this day, I am amused and baffled whenever I hear this. Of course, I’m the same guy who walks into the room and never bothers to notice if it is truly “dude-city.” My mind is focused on other things rather than trying to figure out if the guy-to-girl ratio is even….or not.

And then I start to hear how guys make all sorts of excuses as to why they can’t talk to one single girl in the room. The excuse typically runs along the lines of how too many guys are making it difficult to any one girl. So that is one way of looking at things. But here’s another;

Let’s just assume that the ratio of guys to girls is 60/40 or dare I say, 70/30.

A wise a businessman once told me that you could make money or you could make excuses, but you can’t do both at the same time.

In this particular scenario, most guys choose to make excuses. They don’t care to make money… or honey, in this case.

Here’s how to turn that glass half-empty approach to a glass half-full approach.

Consider the fact that most guys never make a move on a girl anyway. So if half the guys out there never bother to make a move, your true ratio is not really, say 60/40. It’s now 30/40. Wow- look at that. Now women outnumber the men. Or at least, the “real men” in the room.

Moral to this story?

Losers always find a way to lose. Usually, they end up buying into the status quo beliefs of others.

Winners find a way to win.

Nowadays, quite a few women are onto a man who is playing games. But wait- it doesn’t stop there. The girl starts to play games with the guy now.

I’ve literally had a few conversations with women who sit there and try to outwit another guy who is apparently playing games on the girl. It becomes a chess match where both parties are trying to see who is more cunning and can gain the upper hand. There’s too much pride and the ego is too strong for both guy and girl and thus “The Game vs Anti-Game” game starts.

Here is how it usually starts;

The guy is using some particular technique to attract the girl or increase his chances of her being receptive to his come-ons. Unfortunately for the guy, the girl realizes the guy has some “game” so she develops an anti-game for his game. Now if the guy has been around the block, he picks up on this and realizes he has to be more methodical about it and develops an anti anti-game for her anti-game. It just doesn’t stop. And the back and forth just continues until there’s no end and both wind up in a lose-lose situation. Game over…for both.

Watching this play out reminds of a scene from the movie, The Big Hit, starring Lou Diamond Phillips and Mark Wahlberg. There’s a scene where Phillips wants one of his guys to develop a trace buster to prevent them from being traced when making a call. And then they also have to create a trace buster that will bust the trace buster which, appropriately enough, is called a trace-buster buster. Watch the Youtube clip from the trace-buster scene below. Hilarious.

Brinkley is 54 and is still looking hot. I hope when my wife is 54 that she looks like Brinkley. Just goes to show you that even beautiful women still have their issues.

This reminded me of an incident some months ago.

I was on a date with this girl. She was and is by all means considered to be a very beautiful woman. Great curves. Long hair. Slender. Looked good in a cocktail dress, that’s for sure. Kinda makes me wonder what she was doing with me, but I digress.

But I was totally not impressed with her. I could sense that this girl knew how pretty she was.

Note to guys: beautiful girls know that they’re hot when day after day, guys are always trying to hit on them. When you get hit on day after day and are always told that you look beautiful by guys and girls alike, then it’s only a matter of time that you start to believe in it as well.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with believing that you look good. But it starts to become an issue when you start to rely on it as a crutch. I could tell that this girl thought she could get away with just about anything with me. She wast starting to believe in her own bullsh*t. She was pretty intelligent too. But not smarter than I. I found her mannerisms to be a turn-off and I couldn’t see myself wanting to take her out again for the 3rd time. That just meant more time and more money on something that won’t go much further.

I knew it wouldn’t go further, but I was chomping at the bit. I really wanted to put this girl in her place. She was quite rude. Not so much to me but to the people around us like the waiter. It was girls like her that I chew up and spit out for dinner. But I thought the better of it. No point in making an enemy of someone.

But I felt bad for her. It made me wonder how long she’ll continue to act this way and think that her looks will get her past anything and anyone.

I have to believe that even if a shallow enough of a guy was to marry this woman, that they would be miserable with each other?

Even pretty girls need to work on their inner beauty.

Nothing last forever ladies.