I just lost a prospective client because I was too honest. The guy was on a deadline and needed a site up in less than the time I quoted. Apparently, he found another vendor who could meet this deadline. I know that’s not possible because I have done this for too long to not know otherwise. I know the other vendor isn’t disclosing the entire truth.

This situation frustrated me so much and has forced me to reassess the value behind the trait, honesty.

I’m reminded of a situation a few months ago where I asked a girl out and how she responded. She said that she didn’t have an interest in going out with me because she had her own personal issues to deal with and wasn’t in the mood to be sociable. It was a very quirky response and one that I’m not used to. Most women just ignore a guy and hope he goes away. She did the opposite- she confronted reality and answered truthfully.

If you thought I was interested before, I was even more interested now. I found her even more attractive after her response. Now before you go on and say that this is one of those situations where a guy just wants a girl more because he values the chase, it’s not. I don’t like chasing girls because it never goes anywhere.

I realize I know so little of her and it’s possible that it may never have gone anywhere to begin with. Regardless, the fact that she was honest with me made me more attracted to her. Why? For a few reasons:

1. She exhibited a quality that few people could possess in a situation such as this. Remember, most women would ignore a guy because they don’t want the confrontation.
2. She showed alot of maturity and tact in how she articulated her response
3. She trusted me enough to believe I had enough of my own maturity to handle it.

I was able to process all of this intuitively and came to the conclusion of my attraction (and respect) for her just increased because the above is so rare to experience.

Honesty is the foundation to any type of relationship be it professionally, socially, or romantically. It’s what we yearn for but most of us either don’t exude it or won’t embrace it.

Someone told me that I should be grateful that I didn’t land that client because he would never value me and my services. And more importantly, it wouldn’t be a great relationship between the two of us since he only wanted to hear what he wants to hear. The guy never even gave me a chance to explain and he just went elsewhere assuming that I couldn’t match the competition.

When someone is honest and candid with me in an exceptional way, I value it so much and I find that my respect for that person just increases. I do everything I can to try to reciprocate. Of course until they do something boneheaded to ruin everything.

This sounds silly but one of my personal resolutions for 2010 was to be less honest. If you only knew some of the clients, acquaintances, and friends I’ve lost because of one simple honest remark. This forced me to reevaluate this possible character flaw in me. That was how much of a flaw I consider it because it hurt me to the core and impacted me in unfortunate ways. I’m still evaluating and tweaking as we speak.

So because of my own personal and professional loss, I know just how rare this one quality is. I deal with too many people on a weekly basis and am forced to make quick judgments to aid my decision making process. Do I want to do business with them? Is this someone I want to spend time being friends with? Is she someone I would want to be involved with romantically? Do I want to introduce this person to others? I have to do my best to mitigate being hurt and dissapointed. I know when someone holds back. I know when someone isn’t disclosing the entire truth. I know when they’re lying and their voice and body language reinforces it.

Honesty is what nourishes all healthy relationships regardless of context. The absence of it means a relationship, or the opportunity to have one, will soon wither away.

Keith Ferrazi wrote and devoted an entire chapter to the art of honesty and candor in his book, Whose Got Your Back. Pick it up. I guarantee it’ll change your perception of honesty.

She was so frustrated and sad as she no longer had control of the situation. The guy needed time off to think about things. She wanted to stay “connected” with him and try to fix things. He wanted to fix her to some degree.

All I could do is really just listen. I had my own set of advice I could give but in these instances, I think most people already know what they need to do.

When it came for advice, I said the following to her; “You can never fix or help people. Control is merely an illusion. Whatever control you think you have or want to get back (cuz he walked away from her and she probably wished she reversed it), don’t bother.Consider this time off as a blessing. Use this time to better and improve yourself.  That is all that you can do.”

Most people don’t change. They lack self-awareness to know what’s wrong with them. That’s partly the reason why most people have no business getting married. They’re too flawed. Marriage is a long term endeavor and requires people willing to commit to constant self improvement. Not only can most people not be able to commit to each other, they can’t commit to themselves.

Deep down inside, I know she knows what her flaws are and her guy had pointed them out to her. So much so, that it started to lower her self-esteem. I do see the same flaws in her that he does. But when she starts to feel bad, then one of two things need to happen;

1. She has to shape up and take his advice and fix herself
2. Or both need to go their separate ways

Use the time that you have when you’re single to constantly improve yourself. Become Mr or Miss Right yourself. Only then will Mr or Ms Right come into your life.

Don’t ever expect to fix people. You can’t fix them. You can only fix yourself.

If you put this into a formula then it’s P + O= L .

Preparation is simply the idea of how ready you are. Opportunity is seen as chance or the prospect to advance.

For the sake of this formula, we can say that P reflects the intensity of your preparedness. Preparedness, is, afterall a spectrum or range rather than one finite point. You can be under prepared or over prepared or somewhere in between. O represents the number of opportunities you can have. Opportunities come more than once. Wiseman explains in the book as to how you can increase your opportunities. The combination of both of these element will than represent how “Lucky” you truly are.

So if you want to really increase your luck, then you need to increase your preparedness and/or increase the number of opportunities you have.

For example, the formula can be written as such; 3P+4O=L.

The numbers themselves are just arbitrary. They can be anything. The point is that you can increase your luck by simply increasing how well prepared and studious you are in addition to increasing your opportunities. By doing so, you increase your “luck factor”.

This conceptual formula can be applied to all aspects of your life, be it business, personal, or social. I think this formula in addition to Wiseman’s work really helps to demystify that luck isn’t as fatalistic as some people make it out to be. Ergo you’re either lucky or you’re not.

Let’s take a few scenarios:

Professional- You want a better job. Prepare better and more diligently for your interviews and increase the number of interviews you go on. Do this enough times and you can get really “lucky”.

Social- You want to increase the number of friends you have. Just go out more often rather than make the excuse that you may not meet anyone. This represents the opportunity element. You can increase your P by simply working on how sociable or friendly you are. People with good social skills tend to have a larger social network. Social skills can include how conversant you are, your accessibility, and overall personality. All of these can fit within the subset of P, being more prepared. By being prepared to be more social and increasing the opportunities of going out, you can increase how lucky you get in making new friends.

Romance- You want to get more dates. Again, you can increase your opportunities by simply going out and asking more women out. Someone is bound to say yes….sooner or later. Preparation in this case is simply working on your personality. This can be charm, wit, intelligence, or whatever traits that a woman may desire in you. By being better prepared and increasing the numbers, then you can get pretty “lucky”. I use that word loosely in this scenario.

Personal Example- I have recently gotten “luckier” in landing new clients in the past 2 months. I’m on a roll, actually. *Knock on wood*. I’ve closed every single deal that I’ve written a proposal for in the last several months. How? I changed a few things in my proposal writing. I changed the actual words, deleted a few areas, and made some modifications to how the proposal is presented to the prospect. I have not increased the number of prospects I meet. That would represent the O in this case. So by simply increasing how well prepared I am, I manifested a “lucky streak”.

Wiseman goes into far more detail of how to increase your luck factor in his book. When compared to his research, my formula is considered generic. However, don’t ignore the simplicity of it.

Some people may still argue what the definition of luck truly is and therefore making my formula invalid. The point isn’t to focus on the semantics but to understand that luck, which plays a role in our success, can be controlled to some degree. Luck, success…call it whatever you want. The point as Wiseman notes in his book, is that our lives aren’t as fatalistic as some of us would lead to believe.

I was on this date with Karen over the summer. It was our third date and I thought I’d surprise her with a picnic. It was beautiful weather and we sat there lounging for several hours just talking and canoodling like little kids.

Somehow, the conversation turned to dating and men. Not sure how considering the amount of canoodling going on. What can I say, she was a great kisser. But anyway, I started talking about the three types of guys that I thought you would most likely find in the dating world. At least in the context of taking charge and being a leader.  What can I say, after spending several hours with me, it was only natural that I start to pontificate. But I think she was mildy entertained by my pontifications.  Because really, how many other guys can get away with this level of thinking on a third date, no less?

Here are the three types of men in the context of leadership in a romantic capacity:

Natural Leader- This guy always knows when to take charge and lead a woman. He’s just a natural at it. He comes off as suave and charismatic. There are only so many of them out there. It’s hard to quantify, but there are only so many of this type.

Learned Leader- This guy has potential. He’s not a natural born leader, but he isn’t the next category either. He has certain innate traits and with time and patience, he can become a natural leader. Sometimes, he comes off as a bit rough on the edges and other times, he can be smooth. In a relationship capacity, he can lead but also knows when to be lead by his woman.

Follower- He’ll never be a leader. He’s always used to following. This can mean disaster in a relationship context because he’ll never know when to “man up”, as they say. It’s the woman who will always wear the pants and that ain’t good.

As I continued my diatribe with Karen, I started talking about the importance of conveying leadership in a relationship context. At least, I think I did. Either that, or we started canoodling again. But just in case I didn’t, here is how I would’ve expanded the topic:

It’s important for men to know how and when to lead their woman. That’s one of the qualities that women want when they say they want a man and not a boy. It’s attractive. Though, the feminist movement started more than 30 years ago, this  is still considered a short time span in the evolution of women. Unlike men, women aren’t necessarily given the same opportunities to be in positions of leadership from the beginning. They often have to fight for it. Because of this handicap, women are still used to wanting their man to lead. It’s this whole nature versus nurture thing, ya know.

With leadership, can come many permutations of what can happen next depending on the personality of the woman. Is she an alpha female? Because that can make it tough for any guy to lead. Is she docile to a fault? Because you don’t always want a blind follower.  Does she not know how to follow? Because you can’t lead if she can’t follow. Or is she just right? That depends on the dynamics of your relationship with each other.

Point being? While it’s okay to ask for a man to know how to lead, a woman must also know when to be lead and when to lead herself. I think this is where they call it a partnership, ya know.

So what are some ways a man can learn to lead? Here are a few ways:

• Take the initiative in asking her out and show some flare in the process.
• Be the first to kiss her without being timid
• Don’t ask her where she wants to go. Or at least, don’t give her a gazillion options. I prefer to give two at most. Alot of women still find it attractive to “taken out”.
• Be vocal and steadfast in your beliefs even if she fights you to death on it (Yeah, I know, that can be tough with some women and they test you like crazy)
• Learn to listen to her. Decisions still need to be made and you could be right, but at least listen
• Paint a picture of the future. Where are we gonna be in 1, 5, 10 years down the road? Like the bible says, “Without vision, the people will perish.”

Ultimately, a leader in a romantic context is no different than that in a business context. Most effective leaders are:

• Good listeners
• Take charge
• Charismatic
• Command respect
• Assertive
• Confident
• Accepts personal responsibility
• Inspires his followers
• Visionary

Are you a leader?

I think we often see the end result, but we never see the journey itself. A little unknown fact about me is that I rebuilt an entire new network starting 3 years ago. Like some of you, I only had several friends left. And even with them, I felt like we were going in different directions. Thus began a personal journey for me to rebuild an entirely new network. When you think about it, that’s very scary. It’s not like we’re still in college and have ample opportunities to meet others within the same demographics. Things are alot tougher when you’re in the real world, as they say.

I don’t believe success in anything is ever by luck. It can come through a conscious deliberative effort. The following is a collection of things that I’ve done over the past several years to help me get where I am today.

Summer is gone and Fall is here. For many, it’s back to school or back to business. For me, this time of the year means we’re in the final stretch. It’s the fourth quarter. It’s the time I use to hunker down and focus on finishing the year with a bang, professionally and socially. A big part of ending the year with a bang is focusing on the relationships that matter the most. This means sustaining current ones but also building new ones.

Why did I write this?

I have several reasons why I wrote this:

1. It’s been in my head for at least a year and only now am I inspired enough to write it.
2. To offer inspiration and direction to anyone who wants to build or rebuild a social network. It is often said that in a crowded room is alot of lonely spirits. I live in a city where many people put up walls and barriers. Basically, it can be tough to make friends here…or so I’m told.
3. To dispel the myth to some of you know that the “connected” have always been connected. For most people, it’s simply taking a journey.

Much of what I say below may be common sense to many of you. But common sense isn’t so common nowadays, now is it? Feel free to forward this or even internalize it yourself.

1. Make a decision to no longer have excuses. (eg; too tired, no money, don’t know people at an event, etc…)
2. Follow up- 90% of people never follow up with others after an event.
3. Know that others are just as shy as you are. So take the lead on everything. Be a leader
4. Organize your own events or volunteer to be an assistant organizer for some social networking group
5. Use your preferred social networking site to stay in touch (eg; Facebook, Myspace)
6. Don’t burn bridges unless you absolutely have to.
7. Practice, practice, practice. Practice the art of conversation. Practice listening. Practice following up.
8. Show energy. The universe is energy. People are attracted to others who show energy.
9. Show initiative. Be the first to introduce yourself. Be the first to take the lead in a social setting.
10. Be consistent and persistent. Don’t worry if you didn’t make a new friend after 1 or 2 events. You have to keep doing it.
11. Be flexible. Certain types of events may not be for you. Be cognizant of that and attend events or outings that play to your strengths.
12. Be trusting. Nobody wants to befriend someone who can’t be trusted.
13. Learn to be funny. People like to feel good. That’s why we like hanging around people who are funny.
14. Reach out. Everyone has busy lives and sometimes you have to just pick up the phone and reach out to others. Every now and then I would just randomly call or email someone whom I haven’t heard from in 6 months. They almost always give me the time of day.
15. Have strong values. A friend once told me that my values is the ultimate filter and decides whom I let in or keep out of my personal network. I now understand what he means by this.
16. Understand that networking is a life long process. You can’t just do it for a couple of years and stop. People come and go in your lives and but you have to keep going.
17. Be optimistic. Nobody wants to be around a naysayer. Remember; like attracts like.
18. Be interesting. Have interesting hobbies. Develop interesting stories. People like to be around others who are interesting.
19. Connect. Once you have a robust network, start connecting and introducing people to each other. People like to be around others who are bridging relationships.
20. Give as much as you get. I don’t ask anything of another person that I myself cannot give to the relationship. Give as much as you get out of a relationship. In fact, give more than what you get.
21. Start with small talk, but finish with big talk. I hate small talk. I’m never good at it. But I can manage it to the point that I start talking more important things with that person. What’s big talk? My answer is anything that matters to that person. Dreams, adventures, and aspirations are common examples of big talk.
22. Be honest. For better or worse, I’m candid with most people. They may not always like what I have to say, but at least they have peace of mind knowing that if I have something to say to them, that I will say it to their face rather than be two-faced about it. Be honest and candid with others. Most of them will appreciate it.
23. Value loose relationships. Not everyone is going to be your next BFF. There is a lot of value in having loose relationships. These people may be able to provide your next job, make an introduction to your next significant other, or create value in other ways you haven’t thought of yet.
24. Be reliable. Nobody wants to be around someone who flakes out or doesn’t keep his or her word.
25. Be tolerant. Not everyone thinks like you or shares similar views. Learn to accept others as they are. Value the differences.
26. Be responsive. I do my best to respond to every email or phone call. If you have a habit of not getting back to people, you are essentially saying that you don’t value the other person’s presence. People will eventually notice and no longer reach out to you.
27. Say “Yes!” Jim Carey’s movie, “Yesman” taught a very valuable lesson- learn to say to be open to opportunities. Saying no too often means turning down opportunities. Not every opportunity will immediately reveal its benefits to you. Think of it as God’s way of testing to see how much faith you really have in the universe. Basically, be open-minded.
28. Give the benefit of the doubt. Most people mean well even if they don’t communicate it properly. I found the number one reason most conflicts occur in friendships or even romantic ones are those where one or both parties aren’t giving each other the benefit of the doubt. We all communicate differently. Learn to be understanding of the other person especially when they say something that may irk you. Most people mean well.
29. Get out of your comfort zone. It’s very tough to get out and meet complete strangers in any setting. But no one is ever gonna come to you. Realize that and keep going.
30. Picture them naked. That’s the saying they give to calm those speaking in front of a crowd. If you strip most people of their “superficial armor”, such as their clothes, how they look, and titles, you’ll find them to be just like you. They probably share the same dreams, aspirations, and goals like you.
31. One at a time. That’s one of my mantras. Like dating, I build my social network with one conversation at a time. One outing at a time. One person at a time.

Relationships are the currency that powers your personal economy. Use it wisely.

But any girl who gets angry and emotional and can then talk it out with the guy in question deserves alot of credit in my book. It takes a certain level of maturity to not just start talking about the issue but also try to understand the guy’s position as well.  Miscommunication occurs all the time between Mars and Venus. I think some women would rather just have it their way and want the guy to apologize just so she can feel better. The rationale being that if she’s upset, then she must be in the right. But we all know that isn’t true.

Point being? Give credit to any woman who is willing to talk it out rather than continue playing that passive aggressive silent treatment game. Give another point to her if she is willing to put her ego aside and take the time to understand your side of things. And give one more point if she’ll call you the next day to see if you want to hang out again despite the fact that there was a hiccup the night before.

1. Don’t put her on a throne and treat her like a princess. This is especially true during the early phase of dating. Some women have a good head on their shoulders and learn to take that sort of princess treatment in stride. But others end up getting spoiled by that sort of treatment and end up taking advantage of you. If you do it too much, she’ll run all over you.
2. Don’t ask her out over text message. Women want to feel wanted and best to ask over phone. Email is sort of a grey area with some folks. I blame the proliferation of web technology, social media, and Generation Y for this type of behavior. It’s so impersonal. Dating and romance is anything but.
3. Don’t break up with her over text message. It’s a cowardly thing to do. Grow some balls. She deserves some level of closure and a reason why.
4. Don’t let her get away with everything. I once met a girl at a singles event who said that that she wanted a guy who would put up a fight with her in the beginning, but in the end, she wanted him to let her get away with everything. You can’t imagine how much I was holding back inside when I heard her say that. Accountability is key in a relationship. If she does something wrong, let her know about it.
5. Don’t get all clingy with her especially in the beginning. I never understood what women meant by this until I was at a singles event. I saw quite a few guys just hanging around these girls whom they just met at the event. It was obvious to me by the girls’ body language that they wanted them to go away. True power is not approaching a woman but learning when to walk away from a woman.
6. Don’t call her 3 times a day if she hasn’t responded yet. I’ve heard stories of guys asking a girl out and when she doesn’t respond back within a few hours, he would keep calling back. It makes you look like a stalker amongst other things.

What else?

I must admit that this entry is nearly 5 months overdue. For those of who do not know, for the past two years, I have published the annual Dean’s List. It’s a list of people whom I had built up a significant relationship with and they have, in some way, made an impact on my life for that year. It’s almost like a gratitude list. I’m simply acknowledging and giving thanks to these people because I know that I could not accomplish anything in my life without the relationships that I have built, personally and professionally. Here is last year’s Dean’s List and 2006-2007 entry.

You may be wondering why I am only now publishing this list when I typically do it at the beginning of the year. To be honest, I felt that I lost my own way recently. I had lost my faith in people. Last year was a tumultuous year for me and I had lost trust in quite a few people whom I thought were friends. In many regards, those experiences left a sour taste in my mouth.

So why now? Well, I have just come back from a workshop hosted by, Keith Ferrazi, author of the best-seller, Never Eat Alone. His event talked about his new book, Whose Got Your Back, and preached the importance of how relationships are integral to accomplishing what we want in life.

As I listened to him, I was constantly reminded of the goal that I had set for myself 2 years ago and how my relationships would play an important role.  I soon realized that I needed to snap out of it and get back to basics. I need to get back to the old me. I had to hold back tears because listening to him was a reminder that I was just letting myself down.

Those who know me well know that I’m a student of networking and have tried to hone it down to an art and science. Over the years, I’ve learned many tactics and strategies to become better at building relationships.  In all my years of networking and meetings thousands of people, I had one question that I could never find the answer to. My gut told me to attend tonight because there might be a good chance that I’d find the answer. And I did.

I’m glad that I came because I needed this. So thanks to Keith, I managed to find the time to publish this list and give a simple thanks to those below. And of course, I intend to build that team that Keith preached tonight and I’m already working on building that out as we speak.

I am recommitting myself to the vision that I had built for myself two years ago again. Life often throws hardships at you and prevents you from achieving certain dreams because it wants to see if you have a dream that’s truly worth chasing.

————————————-
Lucy Long- I’m glad that you reconnected to me after nearly a decade. You are genuinely a nice person who deserves a lot. I’m glad that I’m one of the few guys that you’ve let ‘in’.

Kady Chiu- You must’ve known something that I didn’t know when we first met. I don’t think that we can call each other hybrid friends anymore. Perhaps the word, friends, is good enough now. Because regardless of context, business or social, that’s what we are. Your enthusiasm and generosity is your biggest strength and I hope you wouldn’t change that.

Christian Oh- After years of hibernation, we have somehow reconnected. And I think that we have more in common today than just poker. You connect unselfishly and are always inclusive. Out of all the people I know, I can’t even think about one person who has both those traits.

Rick Dassler- I would’ve never thought that you’d make this list two years in a row! But congratulations my friend. Because that’s what you are. I have safely taken away the ‘business’ part from ‘business friends’ and just made it friends. I know you’ve had a tough year but I know you’ll come out stronger and wiser than ever before. You’re one of the few that I can go to for insight on the issues of life.

JC Duarte- You helped me through a lot of challenges that I had with, well, you know : ) Your advice is worth its weight in gold. Please know that your advice and insight really helped me a lot and gave clarity when I needed it the most with women. I hope that someday, the world will know of “The Charming Guy”.

Grace Lee- I really mean it when I say that the money I paid for at the event that we met at was worth it. I would’ve gladly paid three times the amount to have built a genuine friendship with someone like you. You always get back to me, a great conversationalist, and always show a genuine interest.

Latosha Frink- You are also a surprise to me. I’m glad to have spent time with you last year and gotten to know and you me. As different as we may be on the outside, we share many similarities and values. I couldn’t ask for a better sidekick with my adventure group. Mature, down-to-earth, and always reaching out to others.

Minh Tran- There was a time last year that I knew I needed to develop some guy friendships. And then that’s when you came along. I value the time and the wisecracks we’ve made along the way. Thanks for just being.

Kathleen Smart- The only thing that I regret is that we never got a chance to truly follow through on our project. It’s not the project that I miss so much. It’s more the fact that I missed the opportunity to work in collaboration with the quintessential giver. I couldn’t do you justice by just calling you a good networker. But I hope that I’d do justice by saying that your kindness, enthusiasm, and dependability are the traits that I hope any business person or person should learn to live by. Perhaps we’ll find a way to work together again this year. One only hopes.

Zakia Williams- For a short moment in time, we shared many laughs and stories together. You’re one of the funniest and inclusive people that I know. I’m genuinely glad to have reconnected after so many years.

Kate Lim- For the person whom I name the Amazing Dinner after. An amazing person yourself. Watching you in action has given me the drive to recommit to my own dreams. I value every conversation, laugh, and moment that we ever shared.

———

My goal with this entry is the following and I hope you’ll take it to heart;

• To be a reminder and encourage excellence in all types of encounters and relationships that you build with people. To help encourage you to build your own list and thank those people who came along the way.
• To publicly acknowledge those who made the most impact with me for the past year. Sometimes a simple acknowledgment of another person’s contribution is often enough for them. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
• To reinitiate and start a conversation with many of you who I have not seen or heard from in a while. Maintaining a large and growing network with hundreds of people is seriously a lot of hard work.
• Last but not least, to let you know that I’m not as mean as I may come off at times. Even brutally honest and candid people like me still have a heart

In doing so, I’ve learned that it’s good for every guy to learn this trade. Here are some top reasons why every guy should learn how to cook. Some are pragmatic in nature and others are humorous. But they’re all true!

1. It’s a good way to impress any girl. I think it’s still a consensus that most guys don’t know how to cook and it’s a woman’s job, or at least that’s how it’s perceived. Break the mode and stand out by learning how to cook.  If you’re single and just getting to know a girl, I’d say having 3 good dishes is good to have in your dating repertoire. In fact, there are many ways to incorporate this into your dating repertoire. It makes for good get-to-know-you conversation as well when both of you know how to cook. Or you can both have a date where both of you are cooking. Very romantic, fun, and great way to connect.
2. It’s cheaper and you’ll save tons of money….especially in this economy.
3. It’s a good connector and networking tool. If you like to socialize and entertain, then there isn’t a better skill to have than learning how to cook. Cooking and entertaining go hand in hand. Again, it’s been perceived a “female-thing” rather than a guy thing. If I had to move to a new city where I knew nobody, then I know that one of the quickest ways to make new friends is to invite people over for a dinner party. That’s a sure fire hit.
4. It frees you from depending on a woman’s cooking. If you’re married or in a relationship, nothings worse than having your girl get angry at you and deciding not to cook for you. Learning to cook makes you self-reliant in this regards. Or better yet, if she’s not a good cook, then you’re better start learning real quickly, if you catch my drift.
5. It’s healthier. Well, it can be depending on what you cook. But at least, you can control your diet easier by learning to cook healthy and controlling the amount of what you cook. Let’s face it; guys die earlier than woman do and that is partly due to what we eat. Cooking for yourself is alot better than going to Cheesecake Factory and having to finish those huge dishes they give you!

What are some other reasons that a guy should learn how to cook?