Dating: The Less You Know, The Better

Posted on | December 28, 2008 | No Comments

Deanism; “True power doesn’t lie in knowing. True power lies in knowing what to do with what you know.”

Nothing could be more true in the world of dating. The proliferation of media and how it represents love, sex, and dating today, contributes to what many us know about dating. Or so we think. But too much exposure to another episode of Sex and The City or Gossip Girl, can hinder what is already a difficult process. Yes folks, watching too much of this, or reading too much of that, or hearing too much of anything in relation to dating can hurt us.

Ask people in Europe or overseas, and they’ll tell you that they are no where as clued in with some of the social dating moires that occurs here in the United States. Concepts such as the 2 day rule, never paying for XX number of dates, and tons of other concepts that many of us know.

Knowing too much of this stuff isn’t good for any single person. The problem with most of these concepts is that they are not universal and doesn’t apply to every person and every date. Each date is like a snowflake- unique. There are way too many women (and men) who pigeonhole their date into some particular concept that they saw off of a tv show or romance novel.

Stop it.

Seriously. It’s only to get you into trouble and you’ll end up alone.

We rely on these concepts as a crutch to help us make our way through the unfamiliarity that each person brings to the table. But the danger lies in us simplifying it so much that it really doesn’t apply to the person at all.

Stop the pigeonholing. Stop the predicting. Stop trying to read between all the lines. It’s going to get you nowhere fast. Just stop it.

It’s not just a matter of what you know. Don’t take what you think you know and then assume so many things out of one person. Focus on the fact that there are so many things that you don’t know. And start trying to understand the other person.