The Lack of Courtesy and Respect That One Person Shows.

Posted on | October 22, 2008 | No Comments

What is with people nowadays and their complete lack of courtesy and etiquette?

Case in point:

I have 2 friends (guy and girl) who I thought should meet each other and see where it might go. I thought they would look cute together. So here is how I set them up;

I emailed both privately and showed them a picture of each other along with some mutual interests that they both shared. Both liked what they saw and agreed to an introduction by me. I made an email introduction whereby I edified both sides and said that I thought they should meet for a drink. Nothing too high pressure. I didn’t expect for wedding bells to ring but at least they might make a new friend.

That was almost 2 weeks ago. I decided to follow up with my guy friend to see if anything occurred. Apparently, she never responded back to his email. And this is after she agreed to the introduction.

That just ticked me off big time. This was really the straw that broke the camel’s back with this girl. It’s the same person who, on several occasions, doesn’t respond back to my phone messages that I leave. I actually let those go as I didn’t think the time and energy to put into chiding her was worth it. But when you do it to one of my own friends then that really tees me off after I just spoke highly of you.

As a disclaimer, let me say that I understand we all lead busy lives. But quite frankly, that has become (especially here in DC) one of the biggest bullshit excuses that I’ve ever heard of. I run my own business, have clients to report to, run my own social networking group, have friends that I respond to, and a host of other responsibilities and demands on a daily and weekly basis. I know that I get more emails and phone calls on a daily basis that I have to respond to, than this girl or most people do. I’ll bet drinks on it.

And I’d say about 90% of all queries from clients, friends, acquaintances, and other encounters are responded to in a timely manner. 48 hours is typically a rule of thumb for me. My social and professional network is far bigger than hers and the average person. And yet, I still prioritize appropriately. Anyone who knows me knows that I get back to them in a timely manner. That is how I managed to build my network in the first place.

Hell, I know single mothers who not only have to parent a few kids, but also have a company to run, and a host of other responsibilities on their plate. And you’re telling me that you can’t respond to a basic email? Why? Because you’re ‘busy’? Gimme a break. Id rather you say that that response or query was not a high priority rather than say you’re busy. I can assure you that had someone put a gun to your head and asked you to make time for that piece of communication, then you’d put in the extra 2 minutes to pick up the phone or email a response. So it really had nothing to do with busyness. It has more to do with priorities.

People today are socially lazy. How often do I hear people say that they want to “meet new people” and “make new friends.” And yet, they lack the basic forms of respect and etiquette that is required to build and maintain these relationships. A monkey can meet new people. But it takes a higher sophisticated life form to actually turn these casual encounters into a solid friendship whereby trust and respect forms the foundation of that friendship.

I can forgive the occasional memory lapse. It happens to everyone. I’m not an etiquette Nazi by any stretch of the imagination. But consistent lapse in judgment like this is completely uncalled for.

It was never that strong of a friendship between her and I as we were more friendly acquaintances than real friends. Though, I do enjoy my company with her and have respect for her. Otherwise, I would’ve never made the introduction between her and my guy friend. I do value all relationships that I make but I don’t compromise on my beliefs and values for anyone. And I’m simply not just going to keep my mouth shut to avoid confrontation.

I know my guy friend would forgive me as he’s an adult and can take it. But that really doesn’t matter. If you say you are going to follow through on something, then follow through. A man is only as good as his word. Same goes for a girl. Courtesy and respect for others shouldn’t be accommodated nor compromised based on your sex.

Stuff like this can make me look bad in front of my own friends and peers. It says that I don’t know how to judge character appropriately when making these introductions. I’ve spent the past few years making all sorts of connections between my friends and colleagues all the while building my own network. And I can’t even get a simple courtesy from these folks as to what their explanation is?

Lesson to be learned? Look at how you behave towards your own network of friends and professional contacts. What behaviors do you display that can possibly damage a relationship? How much self-awareness have you developed as you build your own network? Only you know the answer.

Don’t take your network for granted.