People Are Just People. And That Goes For Pretty Women Too.

Posted on | October 26, 2008 | No Comments

I was thinking about this guy friend of mine. Nice guy. He’s educated, makes good money, has a sense of humor, and pretty well rounded.

I had this conversation with him about girls and he seems paralyzed by his own fears when it comes to women. There are women he knows that he would like to ask out but he gets so nervous and intimated by them and their beauty. I’ve seen these girls and they aren’t too bad. He has good tastes.

I was once him a long time ago. I think many guys were or are. We’d get nervous, couldn’t speak much less carry a conversation even if we had a date, and the concept of rejection by a pretty girl was just too much.

I try my best to encourage him but I think that this is something that he’ll have to figure out on his own. He is a prisoner of his own mind and his possibilities are limited by his fears.

I think in situations such as these, he should do what I call an “inventory check”. Basically, do a t-chart. One column has him in it and the other column has the girl in it. And then start listing all the great qualities that he has going for himself. Any good confident man should be able to list 5-10 qualities about himself.

And then he should list all the qualities that he sees in the girl that he’s interested in. If he barely knows anything about her, then suffice to say, that he can only think of several.

It doesn’t take a mathmetician to figure out that his list of qualities outweighs her lists at this point. This should provide enough of a confidence boosts to him to see that he has alot going for himself and should approach her like that. I think most guys tend to do well with the girl after a few dates are under their belt but it’s the initial approach that scares alot of guys. So much of it is what is in our head. ‘It’s all mental’, is a favorite saying of mine. I was thinking that this t-charting is a little psychological trick that could possibly work for some guys who need that push in the beginning.

People are just people and that goes for pretty women too. They have their little insecurities and issues like the rest of us do. I don’t see a need for any of us to put other people on a pedestal. People are just people.