How To Overcome Emotional Tough Times

Posted on | September 28, 2008 | No Comments

Regardless if it’s a breakup, troubles with a significant other, family issues, professional issues, personal problems or a bevy of other issues that can cause emotional distress, I have found the following list of initiatives have helped me through the tough times.

If you find yourself heartbroken, mentally and emotionally distracted, or just down and out, consider using some if not all of the following as a way to make it through.

1) Start a gratitude journal. Oprah Winfrey started this years ago. There was a show where she interviewed the author of the book, “Simple Abundance”. The book promoted the benefits of keeping a journal of gratitude. The idea is to write down few simple things every night for which you are grateful for. This includes the big things like your children, and jog to the small daily occurrences like finding a dollar in your pocket or receiving a compliment.

When I first heard of it, I thought it a bit too warm and fuzzy for me. It was only until last year, that I started to develop one of my own. At the time, I decided to make a 30 day commitment to writing 3 things that I’m grateful for each day. You really come out as a different person after 30 days. We often focus on what we lack in this world such as a good job, significant other, good friends, and more. The gratitude journal forces you to focus on what you have instead of what you don’t have. More on the benefits of a gratitude journal

2) Reach out to your network. I’m an advocate of the often misused and misunderstood word, networking. But I’ll save that rant for another day. I have meticulously built an extensive professional and social network over the last couple of years. I have built it for many reasons. But one of them is to tap into it when I run into difficult times. My social network of friends are there when I need advice or a shoulder to lean on if I am going through emotional distress. My professional network is there when I am facing some tough business situations that is stressing me out.

Learn to care for your network. Don’t ignore their emails or phone calls. Don’t take them for granted. Don’t blow them off. One day, you will need them when you least expect it. Be proactive in building your network and reaching out to others. One day, there will be that one person who will reach out to you when you least expect it. That person will pick you up and inspire you to new heights.

3) Write a poem. I’m far from being a published poet. But I found that when I face emotional distress, I’m able to really pour my heart and soul into a poem. I recall having to say goodbye to someone I truly cared for and I managed to write out this poem within an hour. It’s very similar to musicians who go through breakups. They pour all their feelings into new lyrics which end up being their next hit single. It is a very therapeutic exercise that helps alleviate alot of emotional distress. I am not what you consider a polished poet who understands all the tiny nuances of writing a poem. But I make up for it by tapping into my own feelings and what my heart beats at the moment.

4) Give to others. Going through tough times forces us to focus on what we lack or are not currently receiving at the moment. For example, we focus on the lack of money, lack of someone special, lack of opportunities in our life and so forth. I recommend doing volunteer work or giving back to another person in some significant manner. It’s a funny paradox; By giving back to someone else, you are able to overcome and get past what you are not currently receiving in this world. We see it all the time with parents who have a tough day at work. As soon as they come home, all of their focus is on the child. They are able to channel their lacking through a spirit of giving. The holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas tends to be tough for many individuals. It’s a time that forces us to focus on what we lack. But it’s also a great time to focus on giving ourselves to others through volunteer work.