Can A Guy Have Too Many Female Friends?

Posted on | May 7, 2008 | 2 Comments

I don’t know. But I sure do wish I had more guy friends at times.

There is a growing perception amongst my circle of friends and acquaintances that I am a “player” of sorts. I’ve also gotten “ladies man” as well. Boy- nothing could be further from the truth.

I started to really notice this disparity on my most recent birthday celebration. I looked at the list of people that I invited and those who came and it was a lot of women. I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when one of my business friends, Rick Dassler, came to my birthday dinner with his wife. Apparently, she told Rick that she thought I was some sort of player because I had nothing but hot girls on my end of the table. And then there is Jennifer who once asked her boyfriend, Chris, as to why I have throngs of female friends around me all the time. And of course, Tammy had commented on my Life Last Year Video that a lot of the pics in the video were of me “hugged up” with other girls. And the comments and perceptions just go on and on.

I suppose there are far worse things that one can be called so I’m not really complaining.

But I really do wish I had more guy friends.

All the guys that were at my birthday celebration were all taken as well. Chris has a girlfriend. So does Ed, though we’re not that close. But he’s a fun guy to have around. Rick and Tak are both married so I can’t really spend that much time with them.

I started to look at the traits that they all had in common and I realized that perhaps that is also the one quality that I like in my guy friends. All four of them are sociable, intelligent, and sophisticated guys. They all have different personalities in their own right, but otherwise, they are all a good catch. I could vouch for any one of them.

But I look at my female friends and I realize they all have the same traits as well. Christa, Neusa, Marinel, Estella, Sharon, and the list go on and on. Most of my female friends are pretty sociable, sophisticated and intelligent. And so I realized why there was a disparity in my guy to girl friends ratio.

Relatively speaking, girls in general, tend to be more sociable creatures. This has to do with their upbringing and environment. I’m not going to go into that but just trust me on that one.

I never considered myself a sociable person. Hence the tagline in my blog, “extroverted introvert.” I’m naturally an introvert but try to be more extroverted and outgoing. People say that I’m very sociable so I guess I’ll just accept that.

I used to wonder with as many people that I meet why I couldn’t make more guy friends. And I just realized that it isn’t always me but it’s usually some of these guys. Some of these guys aren’t that sociable. They have no personality. And some aren’t that interesting to begin with.

A female friend and I were talking the other day and she was saying that there are just certain people that she wouldn’t necessarily invite into some of her social circles. When you first hear her say it, you may think that she might be snobby. But the more thought that I give it, the more I realize she is right. I do the same thing. Others tend to do the same thing as well. We tend to associate ourselves with people with whom we know, like, and trust.
Birds of the same feather flock together.

So when it comes down to it, I just have more female friends because the qualities that I look for in another friend tends to be something that some girls have more than guys. At least I think that is the case. But hey, I’ve been known to be wrong before. I’m certainly hoping that I can be wrong here as well. Of course, honesty, fun, and loyal are also qualities that I look for in friends.

I do admit that I love the company of a pretty girl. I don’t just mean in terms of looks though. There are a lot of attractive girls who bore the heck out of me. Looks alone don’t go far with me. But pretty girls who have substance is always icing on the cake with me.

But I also realize that friendship with the opposite sex can be fragile at times. So it’s always good to go back to the guys. But then again, friendships with guys can be fragile at times as well. So who knows what to make of all of this.

Category: Business, Me, Personal

Comments

2 Responses to “Can A Guy Have Too Many Female Friends?”

Rick
May 22nd, 2008 @ 10:43 am

Dean Dude,

Believe it or not, the married guys need guy need single guys like you even more. It’s true, the married guy has family responsibilities which compete with social opportunities. That’s exactly the reason he needs more single guy friends — otherwise his guy friends can turn out to be just the husbands of his wife’s girlfriends.

Having a cadre of girls hangin’ with you is cool in my book as long as you’re not one of the girls — and you’re not, Dean Dean, especially with that head of yours shaved.
Maxine
October 27th, 2008 @ 2:51 pm

Great work.