Dean Dreaming

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Jane dropped me a line and told me how much fun she had at my birthday celebration. We were talking and I was telling her how I wanted to get her to talk to Chris and Jen more as I suspected they may have alot in common. Mike and Chris may also have alot in common as well considering their backgrounds as teachers. Unfortunately, they didn’t have as much time to talk because of my infamous switcheroo whereby I made Chris and Jen switch to the other end of the table.

In talking to Jane about this, I thought it was a good idea to write and explain how and why I made Chris and Jen switch. But I also took it one step further to explain how the seating dynamics contributed to a really fun night.

So this first diagram is actually the original seating chart that I had. There is only one person who knew I had a seating chart for the dinner event and that was Lin. When I told her that I had a seating chart for everyone, she just gave me that look that she always gives me, as in, “You’re nuts and you are just complicating things.” But that’s okay with me. Because this just goes to show how much better of an organizer and host I am than she is anyway. The only thing that she has on me as an organizer is her looks which tends to draw and attract alot of attendees. When I’m with her at any event, I feel like I’m at a 3-ring circus with the crowd (usually guys) givings oohs and aaahs when they see her. All I need is some popcorn to enjoy the side-show. But it’s okay with me, because outside beauty too will fade some day. And when that day comes, I’ll still have my intelligence and over analytical brain :p

I never got a chance to implement this as the restaurant was in a rush to seat us and I decided it was best to just “let go” and have fun. But I’ll explain how I made the decision to seat everyone at a certain place with respect to others.

Proposed seating chart

So my first priorities was to ensure that Lin and Neusa were sitting next to me. Neusa didn’t know anyone at the table so I had to make sure she was at least comfortable enough to sit next to me. Lin knew a few people but as sociable as she is, I know she can be quiet at times too. I had to have them sitting next to me so I could eventually break them into the conversations with some of the people across from us. In essence, I’d play the role of the “connector.” Lin would be easier to do because she did know quite a few of our friends.

I wanted to have Chris and Jen sitting across from us just because aside from us being friends, they would be sociable enough people to talk to whomever. So I had already filled out 5 spots and then I’d “build out” from there.

Rick and Elizabeth weren’t even supposed to come but they were last minute since Elizabeth didn’t like the gala that they attended that same night. So I had to find a way to fit them in. But I always knew that I’d put Rick next to Jen because they both work in real estate so they would have tons to talk about. And quite frankly, Rick talks so damn much that if Jen didn’t get along with Rick, then there must be something wrong with Jen. Which would make me look bad considering that I had thought so highly of her and told Chris that he had my approval of her. But hey, no one’s perfect.

Everyone else was a bit tricky because there were any number of arrangements that I could’ve had but settled on the above arrangement.

I could’ve placed Ed next to Christa since Ed is pretty entertaining and they both knew each other. I didn’t want Christa too close to me since she busts my balls all the time. But I had her across from Neusa since they are both single, sophisticated girls so maybe they might have something to talk about. Single sophisticated girls tend to talk to each other quite a bit. Or do they? That’s another theory that I need to work out in due time.

At the worse, Ed could entertain all the girls on his side of the table and I’m sure he wouldn’t complain. At the minimum, he could practice his “game” and then he’d report back to me on what works and doesn’t work with women on some other phone call and we’d take copious notes. If they laughed at his jokes, it only makes him look better in front of his girl, Deanna, because other pretty girls are laughing at his jokes. This makes for a complete win/win for both me and Ed.

So obviously, this seating chart never happened, so let’s see what the real seating arrangements looked like;

Real scenario-before switchweroo

Here is what’s wrong with this arrangement. Ed couldn’t show up till an hour later at 9:30pm. Rick and Elizabeth were gonna be 20 minutes late as well. So this put a slight wrinkle in my plans. So with 4 people late, I had the above. I didn’t like that Lin was on the end. Meikwin is pretty quiet because she’s only been in the country for a year so her english has only advanced so much. And as much as I like her, I knew she couldn’t really talk to Lin much. And even when Rick and Elizabeth showed up, I doubt that Rick would have enough in common with Lin. And if that was the case, then Lin and I may as well have switched so that I could talk to Rick. But why would I care to talk to Rick as we talk enough over the phone anyway? And I didn’t know where to put Ed/Deanna when they arrived as well. So already, the birthday boy’s brain is working in overdrive to remedy this issue.

I knew what I did want. However, I would have to get Chris/Jen to switch their seats with me, Neusa, and Lin. I suspected that Jen might have been upset because then this puts her on the end with no one to talk to. And I knew that I wanted those two to talk to Jane and Mike as I suspected they would have alot in common.

So I had a decision to make. Do I force Chris and Jen to switch? If so, Lin would find more commonality with some of the other people like Christa and Sharon and have a more fun time that evening. Not to say that Lin doesn’t know how to have a good time and isn’t easy going. She is. But if I could have a say in all of this, then I will. But then Jen might get mad if I make the switch. Though, in fairness to Jen, she never told me she was mad so I could be imagining things to begin with. So already, we see how many different variables are going through this head of mine in a matter of minutes and how I am constantly working out different scenarios to find the right optimum solution to this. Doing algebra and working out quadratic equations in high school was never this tough.

So I decided to switch. We now have this new scenario below with Rick, Elizabeth, Ed, and Deanna eventually coming;

After switcheroo

So here is where my logic and intuition for people comes into play and it ultimately paid off with EVERYONE having fun.

Even though Chris and Jen would be on the far end of the table, I knew Rick would be my savior. There is a reason he’s on the Dean’s List. Once he and his wife, Elizabeth came, Jen would have some people to talk to.

Rule of thumb; put all the white folks on one end of the table and they’ll be talking in no time. Trust me, they’ll be talking about all the stuff that white people like. So Jen, Rick, and Elizabeth were good to go. And then we had all the colored folks on the far end of the table and we wouldn’t feel threatened. Yes- that’s correct, I’m reinstituting apartheid all over again. Though, we did have Mike who was white but on the “colored side.” He’s so tanned and hairy that he could pass for middle eastern. Problem solved.

Lin now had Christa, Sharon, Tak, and Chris to talk to. This guarantees that I won’t get the silent treatment from Lin on the way home and have her hold it over my head for the next year.

Neusa now has Jane, Christa, and Mike to talk to. I could break her into the conversation until she could take over and find commonality with everyone…which she did. It was important that Neusa have a good time because I don’t have enough Latino friends as it is. I only have Estella who is from Peru. So if Neusa had a good time, then she’d fill my quota of hot latin friends. Me and Lin were talking earlier about how we both like spanish people because they are so passionate and friendly people. But we needed more. And Neusa was going to be the start of this and start fulfilling my quota. Latin people know Latin people. And Neusa could be the tipping point of something big here. I mean BIG!

Ed and Deanna were real late. They didn’t come till 10pm. But Ed knows how to entertain so I knew Mike, Jane, and Neusa were going to have even more fun. Jane even said as much to me later. Ed is one of my clients and he said that he wanted to take me out to dinner to talk business. But I wanted to invite him to my birthday dinner for several reasons;

1. To meet his new girl who happens to be Asian for once instead of AWC (another white chick)
2. To be the court jester and entertain everyone
3. To see if he was kind enough to pay for part of my food bill that night. Because if he did, then I’d be killing two birds with one stone because that meant that he would still have to take me out to dinner one more time after this as he owes me a business dinner. Big steak dinner over business sounds good about now. Let me know how you feel about Ruth Chris Steakhouse, Ed.

Tak and Chris had alot to talk about and I never saw that one coming. Tak and Rick were just close enough that Tak being the business man that he always is, might find potential in Rick as a possible business contact. Tak’s ear is always listening in on something so he can manage himself just fine. The guy is a walking rolodex.

One slight problem to this new seating arrangement: I now had Christa sitting in front of me and I was weary of that. I didn’t need her busting my balls the whole night. But I decided to take advantage of our little friendly rivalry by just busting enough on her that she’d start busting on me. I know she’s competitive enough that she won’t let it go. And more importantly, she would get Jane, Lin, and/or Neusa involved on the ball busting which made it more fun for them to bust the birthday boy’s balls. And I know she and Jane were talking about me that night because I kept hearing my name being whispered in their conversation. So this made it more fun and entertaining for everyone. Ball busting and teasing was no longer limited to just one girl. Multiple girls had the chance to bust some balls and what girl doesn’t like that? I decided to be a team player and take one for the team here.

Admittedly, Chris/Jen didn’t get to talk much to Jane/Mike since the switcheroo. But that’s okay because I like those guys enough that I’d invite them to some other event that I have so they can talk more.

In fact, my brain is already working and I was thinking about a bunch of us having dinner on April Friday 18th before hitting Cecelia’s for salsa dancing. And since Neusa loves salsa, I could invite her and have her invite her Latin friends which would help me fulfill my quota. And since Christa loves salsa too, I’ll take her along. She will now default to the role of resident “ball-buster.” She’ll get all the other girls involved and share some stories about Dean again, which will make them feel more comfortable and “part of the group”. And if Estella isn’t too tired from her China trip, I’ll take her along as well because I develop “social proof” that I at least have one Latin friend which doesn’t make me look needy in front of any other latin girl there. This will make it look like that I am indeed friendly towards all nations. She makes me look good on the salsa floor too even though I’m a newbie so that’s a big plus. But anyway, that’s another event for another time. So let’s get back to this birthday event.

And what about Dean and his birthday night? Dean is happy because his friends are having a good time. We didn’t leave till 11pm for Gua Rapo and most of our friends came and danced the night away. End result? Another successful hosted event by moi. Yay.

So as you can see, I have a very complex mind but if you ever take the time to understand how my brain works, you’ll truly find it all fascinating. It’s far better than reading a book.

Besides, it’s because of the way that I think, that I’m able to get people together and have them form strong friendships amongst each other. That is why I am the “connector.”

Don’t believe me? Ask Chris as to how my decision and insistence to start a 2nd bonfire on the whitewater rafting trip was responsible for the “clique” and friendship forming between Chris, Jen, Kristen, Jean, and Christa which eventually led to the Gauley rafting trip which eventually led to some hook-ups b/w various people. And yes- I do take credit for anything good that happens.

Below is a diagram of the key players involved in Saturday night’s social success and how I mapped this all out in just the couple minutes leading up to the switcheroo. Notice how all 4 key players are guys. And they say that women are the sociable creatures. Hmmm. See you at the next Dean-hosted event.

To know Dean is to like him. But to understand Dean is to completely love and respect him